Comedy

I had a bad week last week. Laughing yet? No? Hmmm....maybe I need to work on my delivery. You're right though, beautiful people are normally exempt from bad days so bad weeks are basically unheard-of (anything worth doing is worth doing) and, yes, I've alerted the proper authorities. What happened (nosey much)? I'm not sure. I guess it was a bit of a fact finding mission...research, if you will. You see, to be a truly effective leader I needed to come down from my high seat to see how the rest of you live (I honestly don't know how you do it). I expected to leave the lap of luxury, mingle with you common folk for a while, wash my hands and return to my refuge. Let's just say, I was startled by how bad things can get and how quickly they can get worse. I felt that I deserved a medal or trophy of sorts....so I gave myself one.

I have been wrongly accused of being funny and I went to great lengths, last week, to exonerate myself of these outrageous charges. No, I am most definitely not funny because comedy is hard. Bill Cosby, Chris Rock, Dana Carvey; these men know comedy...take notes. The main difference, aside from the whole "being funny" thing, is the whole "being funny" thing. They can take any topic; racism, alcoholism, religion, and make it funny (the Cos once said "You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it." He's probably right). I can make grilled cheese sandwiches. Seriously, my repertoire is a fine selection of fart jokes and movie quotes. I'm like a 6 foot tall version of Scene It? that smells like cabbage. If you've got Anosmia and you like dumb and dumber...a lot....I'm your man. If you came here looking for a laugh, then I hope you clicked one of those links above.

The crazy thing about humor is that life is often its own punch line and, to some degree, we have to trudge through the crap to find the laughter. Gordon W. Allport said "So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter." Word.

Augusta is a really happenin' place and this weekend looks to be bangin' with stuff to do, so strap in. Now you laugh? Seriously, I can't work with these people.

MISTology: The Science Behind the Cocktail: Hells Yeah. I don't normally endorse education and alcohol but this seems like a great opportunity to learn to make the perfect laugh lubricant. Not so much for you but for your audience. Bring your Sam's Card because it will be hard for them to be critical when remaining vertical is a challenge. Tonight from 6-8pm at the National Science Center. $10 at the door.

Augusta Cutting Horse Futurity: Don't misunderstand me here. There is nothing funny about a cowboy...at least nothing I'll admit in public. You see, I'm not as imposing, physically, as I sound on the internet and cowboys wear tight pants and ride wild animals....for fun. Tickets are available for the remaining three events for $12 per ticket. Leave your girlfriend at home because, this time, comparison shopping won't work out in your favor.

Fried Green Tomatoes: Jabez Hardin Performing Arts Theater...wow. The fact that someone lost a game of good idea bad idea when naming this place, aside they are all about free movies and I'm all about that. The movie is debatably funny but definitely free so it's a trade-off. Toss a coin (or whatever it is you people do to make life decisions) to decide tomorrow night at 7pm.

Steel Magnolias: Cowboys and Steel Magnolias...I have no idea where this Brokeback blog is going but I'm officially turning in my man card when I'm done. I have a hard time agreeing with any critic that would call this story "hilarious" but it surely has it's moments. This is the stage version so it may differ from the version I've seen what people tell me. Shows are this weekend and next at the Aiken Community Playhouse. Tickets are $17.

Quotes are nice for filling space and convincing simple minded people that I'm smart...wonder why I'm using one here? Voltaire gets 2 points for reminding me that "God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." Anyone know any good stories? I'm ready.

-Jake