Pack it up, Pack it in

For the uninitiated, I was in Nicaragua (or, as the locals call it, Nicaragua) last week. Because I was going to be in Nicaragua, I packed some clothes and such (deodorant....you're welcome, ladies), in what may have been, the largest piece of luggage I've ever used. This is notable because I typically pack small. I've been accused of packing light but this is a misleading indictment. You see, I'm a waste not want not packer. If my suitcase has approximately the same volume of a plastic grocery bag, then I will fill my suitcase with no more or less than one grocery bag's worth of clothing. So, when I headed off to Nicaragua with a bag that resemble a Volkswagen in both storage capacity and gas mileage, I knew I had more clothes (and deodorant) than I could wear in a month.

You math majors are one step ahead of me so add some vectors while I bring the rest of the class up to speed. The math works out like this: (More clothes than I could wear in a month) - (9 days) = 1/2 of a Volkswagen full of clean clothes. Now that we've established the parameters of the problem, let's compare some possible "good" solutions to my actual course of action. The most obvious solution is to wash all the clothes, dirty and clean, to bring my packed-clothes-quotient down to zero. Since I don't own a washing machine (or dryer), I decided to go with the second best but equally logical path regarding the still clean clothes: wear them.

So, for the past 4 days, I've been going through the remainder of the clothes (and deodorant) in my Nicaragua bag and I look fabulous, if not entirely epileptic with an iron (why do you have a horizontal crease across the middle of your shirt?). It is times like this that having a Computer Science degree really comes in handy because I can lean on my nerd card when the fashion police come knocking. Today, they came knocking because I'm wearing my leftover corduroy pants which smell quite a bit like the coffee I packed on top of them. This might lead you to question "who wears corduroy in Augusta in June" to which I would reply "who packs corduroy pants for a summer trip to the equator....exactly."

As luck would have it, I'm off to St. Simon's Island this weekend and I'm already packed. As a result, I don't have much of a 4-1-1 on Augusta this weekend but here goes.

Swing into Summer Weekend: Not to be outdone by First Friday, the Augusta Convention & Visitor's Bureau wants you to join them for a street party downtown. Like normal trips downtown, this one won't cost you a penny and it's a great way to see what Augusta has to offer. Free live bands and non-free food await all those who venture downtown tonight between 6:30p and 9p at the Imperial Theater.

The Odd Couple: Less a story of chronicling my dating career and more a comedy of the lives of two diametrically opposed roommates. So, yeah....it has pretty much nothing to do with me. If this stage show follows in the footsteps of the Walter MaTthau, Jack Lemmon classic then it will be worth every penny of the $32 price of admission. Weekend shows at Le Chat Noir for the next 3 weekends.

Hot Southern Nights: I could go anywhere with this but I'll try to keep it clean. The older I get, the farther away "the 70's" get. Nearly 40 years later, we are still celebrating the music born out of the late 60's and early 70's and that is exactly what Augusta has in mind for Saturday night. Classics such as Orleans (who?), Poco (who?), and Firefall (who?) will be taking the stage at Lake Olmstead Stadium at 6pm.

Proximity: I wish I had more information on this but Google has let me down. The conference started last night and runs through Saturday. The focus of the conference is ways in which we can transform the poverty in Augusta by meeting the physical and spiritual needs of members of our city. I can't make it but I'm going to try to procure some audio/visual materials via Calvinist friends.

-Jake

Popular

Popularity is a strange concept. From a musical perspective, it means little more than trendy. Popular music today may not be popular next month or even next week. Popular fashion has a slightly longer time line; often lasting an entire season. In a social context, however, popularity seems to have much more staying power. The popular kids (that's a link to a musical and with that, I relinquish my man card....I wasn't getting much use out of it anyways) in school are, oftentimes, popular from middle school through high school and their popularity is directly related to their coolness. Seven years (longer, maybe, for you over-achievers out there) is a long time to be anything. A few years ago, I was dreamy for a week and it was exhausting. I couldn't imagine trying to pull that off any longer.

Abstract as it may be, I'm determined to get to the bottom of popularity. I mentioned the direct link between coolness and popularity which seems to be strongest during the years of primary education. Something happens post-graduation that breaks this relationship and, as age increases, the correlation between coolness and popularity begins to decrease. What proof do I have? Well, I've got this graph and as toasting sensation (something that my tens of fans continually remind me of), I've got popularity in spades yet I haven't been cool since that incident in 1987. (Seriously though, they don't give away blogger.com accounts to just anyone. Trust me, I know a thing or two about it) However, I do know some cool people whom I would label as popular (even though they aren't regular toasters) so coolness may not be the most important variable. I would suggest something less superficial such as beauty but I haven't always been popular so that can't be the missing link. Ideas? Shoe size, wealth, bicep diameter, baseball card collection, deluded self-view? Nope, nope, nope, nope, and nope. They all help but none of them are causal variables. This may go down as one of the world's greatest unanswered questions.

My search will continue. In the mean time, here's some things to do around Augusta this weekend because as the old saying goes, all work and no play sucks.

The Big Mo: It's a drive-in movie theater and it's in the middle of somewhere. More specifically, it's in the middle of the metropolis of Monetta, SC. Why should you go? Well, it's cheap. $6 for a double feature. Also, I'll be there and it's hard to put a price tag on that. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and Wild Hogs. Shows start at darkish, gates open at 6pm. Call me if you're interested...there is a carpool leaving around 5:30.

First Friday: I've been sending these out for a year and I still haven't found a good link for First Friday. Despite that fact, First Friday deserves your attention if only because it is sponsored by Checkers and I lovingly endorse everything Checkers does. If you decide to go, be sure to stick around 'til dark and check out the fire people. Need more reasons? Well, it's also the first day of June and the first day of Hurricane season and First Friday maybe the only way to celebrate such an occasion.

Commissioning: Yeah, I know...this is hardly something anyone gets very excited about, but I'd be remiss to ignore it. If you're a regular here, you know that I'm headed to Nicaragua with a group of the finest people Augusta has to offer (I'm not sure how I got invited, either) and our official commissioning is Sunday night at 6:30pm at Warren Baptist Church. If you're not already booked, come on out and let us know you'll be thinking of us and we'll let you know the feeling is mutual.

Blah blah blah, Insert something remotely related to the rest of the post here, blah blah blah. It's Friday so stop reading and get out there any enjoy it because it will be seven days before the two of you cross paths again. Relationships that rare deserve celebration.

-Jake