Christmas time is great for a lot of reasons, one of which is all the sandbagging that takes place in the public school system. By this time of the year, the teachers are the only people that want to be out of school more than the students. This small fact is the driving force behind the "What I want for Christmas" essay my teachers lovingly assigned....annually....for 12 years. Since I love convention, chocolate cake and questions I am uniquely qualified to answer, here is my "What I want for Christmas 2006."
A Guitar: Consider this a fact finding mission. Imagine if Columbus had thought the world to be round (he did) and the monarchy thought the world to be flat (they didn't), then all Columbus needed to convince all parties was a ship. It is a gift in the spirit of discovery....Men, I promise to be thorough and forthwith when reporting my findings.
Books, Books and more Books: Turns out, I don't know it all. I know...I'm as surprised as you are. Clarissa may have been able to explain it all, but her show got cancelled a long time ago and I need something to fill her void. The cats that wrote those books seem to have a handle on things so check with me next year to see if Rob Bell can explain it all.
Sweaters: I'm not sure when, exactly, I turned into Carlton Banks but the transformation is complete and irreversible. Now that was one sharp dressed man. Don't worry ladies, I'm not that good....yet. Dr. Huckstable would be so proud.
The Burning Crusade: I'm really embracing my inner nerd on this one. If you don't know what this is, then don't click the link and continue your blissful life of ignorance. You will thank me but, most of all, you will still think I'm cool.
Mistletoe: Well...you know why.
When it comes to Christmas according to Jake, I'm the Dalai Lama....it's a subject I know quite a lot about. Another, perhaps the only other, subject I've been accused of knowing a lot about is the Augusta social calendar. Fridays are BOGO days around here so here is your "get one."
Lights Before Christmas: This one doesn't actually take place in Augusta. Rather, it actually takes place in Columbia, SC at the Riverbanks Zoo, but there is a group of Augustans (your's truly included) doing this tonight. If you can't make it tonight, you have until the end of the month to see the sights. $7 for adults, $5 for children; 6-9pm.
Magical Night of Lights: Ok, also not in Augusta....Sorry. This one takes place up on Lake Lanier and it is, apparently, quite a big deal. Well, at least a long deal. Six miles of lighted Christmas wonderment....which is a lot of wonderment. The display runs through the end of the month. 5-10pm; $30-40 per car.
Lights of the South: We're getting closer. This lighting extravaganza is located in Grovetown which, depending on which census you look at, is actually part of Augusta. Reviews of this one are sketchy at best and very very bad at worst. It is only $7 and they have a 60' lighted Princess' Castle (nothing brings back Christmas memories like a 60' Princess' Castle) so it can't be all bad. Again, you have until the end of the month to take it all in.
Festival of Lights: I never know where I'm going when I start these lists but this one ended up with Hanukkah, so there you go. A bit of a shout out to my Jewish readers (anyone, Bueller, Bueller?) because Hanukkah officially starts tomorrow and comes to a conclusion on Dec. 23rd. Now that's 8 crazy nights.
Whew...I'm listed out. I hope everyone is having a great Christmas season and I hope you all remember to make time
-Jake
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