LOL? Really, LOL?

I'm old so you'll have to forgive my out-of-touch-ed-ness but I just can't figure out this whole internet slang thing. Feeling misled? Right now you are probably thinking "I've really got to use the bathroom...I don't have time to read this whole blog." It's ok. I'll wait. Feel better? Now you're thinking "But Jake, you play World of Warcraft, you write blogs, you are on MySpace, you have a Computer Science degree, you plant trees. You have your finger on the pulse of the internet." These things are all true (you forgot I'm a 7.0 on HotorNot.com...forgiven) but the lingo crept up without my oversight or approval. This isn't really a major concern. I mean, I can still communicate with my Swedish swim wear model, internet girlfriend (sorry ladies, I'm taken) but I feel like I need a babelfish filter on my intstant messenger everytime I talk to her.

Perhaps more aggravating than the language is the proper use of the language...the crammer of the internet, if you will. I mean, I've had more than a few (7 to be exact) face-to-face conversations with real people it is a lot harder to get a sincere laugh out loud out of someone than it is on the internet; I've never actually seen anyone roll on the floor laughing; and while I have no idea how a roflcopter would manifest itself in nature, I'm pretty sure I've never seen one. But one trip through the comments section on YouTube will tell you that some really lame stuff will evoke some really serious guffaws. I saw one comment where a guy littered his sentence (I use "sentence" in the loosest sense of the word....combination of misspelled verbs and nouns is more accurate) with "LOL" as if it could take the place of a comma. I guess he was laughing while typing and he wanted us to know. Thanks. Is the internet an inherently funnier place? Maybe humor is on a grading scale like in gymnastics where you get some points just for attempting a difficult maneuver. Typing a particularly long joke will earn you at least a lowercase lol and the slightest bit of humor will warrant any varied combination of capitalization.

I'm an elitist so I only type "lol" when I'm really sitting alone in front of my keyboard laughing at something I see. The degree to which I'm laughing
will vary in the standard manner. Caps means I'm laughing moderately hard while "rofflemayo" means I'm probably at work and the combination of the humor and the fact that I can't really laugh out loud is making the situation that much more amusing. Honesty is the best policy...not the funniest.

Like a fly in your chardonnay, I find it ironic that I would write about social behaviors on the internet in a toaster who's main purpose is to provide social outlets in the real world. On second thought, I probably don't know the meaning of the word "Ironic."

A Day of Art Festival: Granted, it's an art festival but something the name fails to communicate is that it is a free art festival so the return on investment will be significant. You can check out local artists pretty much all day Friday and Saturday down that the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. The number of laughs to be had will be directly proportional to the number of paintings done by the guy that painted all the stuff hanging on the walls in Nacho Mamas.

Dido and Aeneas: It's an opera. That's pretty much it. I don't think you realize how difficult it is to write something about opera. It's in English. I'm spent. The ASU Music Dept is running the show and tickets are $10 and performances are Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the Maxwell Theater. Patricia Myers says it is a "wonderful example of a small-scale baroque opera and 17th century masque entertainment" so it should be....hilarious.

Houghton Hussle: I love the names they come up with for these street races and I love the cause behind this particular race. The proceeds of this race go to help support Heritage Academy and that seems like a good thing to me. Regristration starts at the God-awful hour of 7am on Saturday. Don't expect to see me down there but not because it's early but because my heart is 2 sizes too small and I have ice water coursing through my veins. If you have a heart, it will cost you $22 to prove it....so go prove it.

Drive For Show! Rock Fore Dough: Nothing gets people in the giving mood like a little self-loathing music. Hmm...let me rephrase that. Nothing convinces overly dramatic teenagers to part with their money like a fine mix of pop-culture and self-loathing. Better. Dashboard Confessional is the headliner at the 3rd Annual concert to raise money for First Tee and you can help by dropping $25 in advance for tickets. The show is April 3rd at First Tee.

So....LOL? lol? col? (chuckle out loud). No? I must be doing something wrong. I guess I should be happy that there are no acronyms for boisterous negative reactions. ROFMTLRT (rolling on the floor mourning the time I lost reading this) maybe?

-Jake