Dude (looks like a lady)

Any Aerosmith fans in the crowd? Boy, I hope so. If you're here for the title and you're not an Aerosmith fan then I hope you're a fan of disappointment. You see, the title is a reference to a classic song from 1987 by one of the greatest hair bands of all time. It is not a reference to any personal experiences....well, not yet.

That's a sentence I don't ever want to write again.

I suppose I have some explaining to do. Despite what it looks like, this is not a blog. It's a toaster. It is also not a confessional. I'm not prepping you for The Crying Game 2: Something is Missing and I am certainly not trying to get out of something. Honestly, I'm just trying to raise a little cash (I don't think I mean what you think I mean...at least I hope I don't) because the doctors tell me that there could be a cure and their hands are tied unless they get more money.

I'm talking about cancer (what did you think I was talking about....). They are talking about a cure. We are all doing our part. What does that have to do with cross dressing? I'm glad you asked. As the junior member of our team, the lowest earner, and the proprietor of the sexiest legs, I've been nominated to represent our team in the Miss Relay Pageant (OMG). Shocked? You ain't seen nothin' yet, sister.

Now for the obvious segue into all the out and about stuff in Augusta. Boy, that was awkward.

Relay For Life: Obvious first choice or shameless plug. Both, probably. If you've never been to Relay, you are not only missing a great time but you are also missing an opportunity to support an organization who's mission is a cure for cancer; a disease that has, in one way, touched all of our lives. Oh yeah, and I'll be dressed as a stone cold fox. 7p Friday - 7a Saturday. FYI, our team leader is #2 on the solo fund raiser list so drop a little extra support her way if you're so inclined.

La Boheme: If you want an honest opinion on this one you should probably talk to someone who likes opera or speaks Italian or values honesty. Because I don't, I don't and...well, it's a trend....not long division. Timing aside (far too much going on this weekend), I think it is great that Augusta can attract these types of performances and I encourage you; if it's your bag, baby, to check it out Friday or Saturday at the Imperial Theatre. Tickets start at $15.

Blind Willie McTell: As a friend once said, who would think that you would have to go to a cow pasture in the middle of Thomson, GA to hear some of the best blues in the south? Not me, my friend...not me. If you've never been then $25, a map, and a tank of gas will fix that. The festival is "Rain or Shine" (it's in quotes on their web page so it's in quotes in my toaster) and it starts at 11 on Saturday and ends around dark/dark:30.

Aiken Bluegrass Festival: If you like your music in a shade of blue and 30 miles from Augusta, this is your weekend. No one does obscure music festivals better than Aiken so you are in for a treat if you decide to go. Make sure you stay to the end because the headliner, Sam Bush, is fantastic. If you don't want to like Bluegrass music, you should stay home....seriously. The festival starts at noon on Saturday and ends somewhere near midnight.. $15 at the gate.

Mother's Day: If you can't get home to see your mother on Sunday, then swing by and say hey to my mom. Maybe, if enough people come by, she'll forget that I didn't get her anything.

Augusta has a lot going on this weekend....do you? I hope so.

-Jake